DRINK HUMAN BEANS
Every day, mysterious Fulfillment Complexes with low-income felons are being constructed NEAR YOU.
Features:
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Relatable phone-based interaction system.
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Immersive, simulated interactions in an enriching environment.
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A fully-expressive, consent based, dialogue system that provides you with a unique life-affirming personality.
Privileges:
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Multiple opportunities for violence-based stress relief.
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Performance-based promotional opportunities allow for varying experiences of finality and operational re-alignment.
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Advanced placement possible for skilled operators in a non-disclosed field
(Security Clearance Required).
Minimum Qualifications:
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Must be able to read, quickly.
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Comfortable with phone-like human interfaces.
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Able to complete assigned tasks independently.
Preferred Qualifications:
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Motivated to solve problems and navigate systems without formal training or a clear directive.
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Resilient to psychologically-demanding scenarios without clear resolutions.
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Possesses a natural inclination for cathartic, violence-based problem-solving.
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Strong desire to generate Value.
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Tinnitus resistance.
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Morally flexible.
Important System Disclosures:
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Standard Break policy is in effect to maximize Operator Coherence.
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Occasional Service Outages may result in minor system instability.
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During outages, compliance with Secur Protocol will ensure you have a safe and predictable experience.
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Any fear you experience as part of this simulated program is valid and real.
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Genuine human interaction is not available at this time.
Disclaimers:
*Payment is required prior to engaging in this unique opportunity. Compensation for your participation cannot be provided in a traditional format, and will instead be delivered directly as Value.
"The future of Capitalism is all about you swimming up a little straw when I suck on it."
Kotaku.gov
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